Once a baby appears in a house, care of him, desite to defend and be always close become natural parental needs. A child grows up, his outlook changes, while adults continue treating him as a newborn: allow him sleeping in their bed, change clothes in his presence. Baby-health tells about how parents should behave in a child’s presence.
Accustom a child sleeping alone
Situation: Mother takes 8-year old son sleeping in her bed.
Comment: Indeed, such situations, when mother sleeps with her son up to 15 years are frequent. And often they lead to the fact that for a mother becomes stunned by a message that her son has a man. And this is not surprising: a boy listens to women’s talk, knows women’s issues and saw everything. He does not perceive women as objects of passion, and feeel himself an object of adoration, and becomes a girlfriend instead of son. It does not matter whether you sleep alone or with your husband. Starting from 4-5 years old, a child should not sleep in a parental bed. It is also important, as putting a kid on the pot. Perhaps, moving to a separate bed is stress for a child. But you will face real crisis much later, if you do not.
Tip: Of course, ideally a child should have his own separate room. If there is no room, you’ll need to create a corner. You must simply declare him: «This is your bed, your shelf, etc. You’re big! You are an owner here and must keep this place in order». If a child resists, you can «attract» him, for instance, hanging a poster depicting his favorite super-hero over the bed. Remember, if you gave a child his own space, you should put up with his tastes, because you declared he is adult. If a child is afraid to sleep alone, he may ask you to lie down near. But after a while you need to raise, take him by the hand and draw in his own bed. You can sit with him until he falls asleep and then leave.
Do not walk undressed in a child’s presence
Situation: Parents are so accustomed to a child that walk in their underwear in his presence.
Comment: Consumer erotic freedom is unacceptable. A child does not need to attend at the nudist beach since infant years. And mom can not run nude in front of the child, asking him to fasten hooks on underwear. Having respect to her son, she is quite able to get dressed without his assistance. Borders should always be formed. If a boy wants, he will peep through a keyhole, and will see everything he wants to. Father walking in an unbuttoned gown in a daughter’s presence – an unacceptable thing. Remember, if you have a daughter in a house, dad should not be seen without underpants. Well, underpants are also not good, except neat home shorts or swimming trunks on the beach.
Starting since 4-5 years old, a child should not sleep in parental bed
Of course, a child will not become a maniac from all this. But he will lose a very important quality – fine feeling. Look at old movies, read classics: earlier a man could go mad at the sight of a woman who just raised her skirt slightly, became excited with the look at a woman’s neck, ear. Today meeting such man is almost impossible, and modern moms are to blame here. In addition, a child, seeing half-nude parents, can not save the notions of «mother» and «father» in full sense. The distance disappears. Anything is allowed: you can bite a mother, pat, say gross word … If a mother walks nude, she loses her status.
Tell your child where children appear from
Situation: A child accidentally caught parents having sex.
Comment: There is an opinion that a child should parents having sex. Many «admired» this picture through a keyhole, but showing children love making deliberately is impossible! At the same time, you should not also deprive yourself of sex, for example, if you have a common room with a child, put a smokescreen. A child should understand that mother and father need to stay together. And if he sees something, do not worry about it. This will be peeped, not shown at the show specifically.
Tip: Generally, parents do not have to hide, if they want to hug or kiss each other. Kissing, hugging and talking about love in children’s presence is good. Allow son or daughter hearing: «Love and sex are inseparable, sex without love is dishonest». If a child saw you having sex, you will have to explain him calmly. There is no need to blush, you committed nothing unnatural. For example, you can say: «I sit at a Dad’s hands, because we love each other». Of course, your words will be different to a six year old boy and a ten year old girl, but the meaning must be preserved.
Differentiate love and excessive care
Situation: Parents control every child’s step
Comment: Parental hyper-care is dangerous and harmful! «Oh, do not fall! Oh, do not do this and that! And do not go there!” And do not sit here!” In future, a child becomes a very dependent adult. There are problems in a team and family, because he needs constant care. For example, girls grown up in such atmosphere, in future, literally «stifle» their husbands, demanding constant care of themselves.
Tip: Do not confuse hyper-care with love – these are very different concepts. There is a phrase: «Until six years a child is God, to thirteen, fourteen – slave, then he becomes a friend». This aphorism has the deepest sense. Until six years you need to kiss, stroke a child, teach him right desires, be able to bend at the level of his eyes or raise him higher. He will not be able to get what you have not given him later, properly express his emotions and listening to people, if he was not heard since childhood. There is no need to carry out his whims, but it is important to listen to your child’s heart, he must become a Human being due to his parents, not Internet or friends. An adolescent is dependent on mom and dad, that’s why, that’s why breaking him at this age is difficult and dangerous, if you’re not friends with him before his six years.
